Fresh into her teenage years, the news of separation sprung on Chloe. The then 14-year-old’s parents never once fought nor argued in the presence of her and her siblings, but the dynamics at home gradually soured.
Written & illustrated by Sin Ru Xuan Clarice
The Growing Absence
Her father no longer came home every day after work like he used to.
The weekly dine-out for a table for five soon turned into a table for four. The luxury of frequent father-daughter talks held in the comfort of Chloe's room soon turned into a longing for his presence.
““Because he is MY dad, and your dad is supposed to be yours. And yours only.””
So Close Yet So Far
Weeks after the legal separation, she felt a large disconnect with her dad.
“He was even more absent because he was just starting another family,” Chloe said. She had observed him getting remarried, welcoming his first child from his second marriage, and subsequently, a second child.
It has been five years since the divorce, but the 19-year-old today has not processed it, much less her father’s new family.
“Because he is MY dad, and your dad is supposed to be yours. And yours only,” Chloe said, laughing as she recalled the incidents after the divorce.
Today, her father, his new wife and two children, aged one and three, live together in a new home.
“The idea of him moving on with another family and that he’s no longer with me, the fact that he has another family out there is weird.”
Tangled Emotions
As the eldest child and with the divorce occurring early in her teenage years, Chloe struggled to cope with school commitments. This led to the first three years where she was suppressing rather than processing her emotions.
On days when she feels down in the dumps about the situation, she clouds her mind with positivity: “You know what? Ultimately, he is still coming over. He is not completely gone, occasionally coming over to check up on me.”
There are, however, days when Chloe lapses into negativity.
“Some part of me is still upset that I don’t have a complete family or that my dad is no longer with me, with us,” she shared. This sadness eventually manifested into her becoming more emotional than logical when dealing with obstacles in her life.
Last December, she finally came to terms with her father’s new family. Possibly motivated by the many things on her plate, she said, “I let my resentment towards my stepmother go because I think that there is no point resenting something I can’t change.”
Throughout the interview, “I don’t know,” was a repeated response given by Chloe, due to her suppressing her feelings for the past five years.
Keeping The Bond Close
Chloe’s father visits them every two to three days. Once in a blue moon, they would go out to places like Luge Sentosa, and SuperPark to wind down.
Albeit he is no longer there physically by her side all the time, he prioritises her whenever she needs him. On days when she faces any struggles, she shared, “I will always call or text him and he will always reply almost immediately.”
Words from the Heart
As an optimistic individual, she says, “I hope everyone is happy, healthy, and has a blissful life. I hope that my dad stops cheating so that his family now will not have to face what I went through.”
And to her father, she has one thing to say.
“I love you. I really do.”