People who work in the funeral industry need to serve both the deceased and their loved ones throughout the funerary process. CATCH visits The Life Celebrant's Showers of Love sanctuary to discover how their service workers, aka angels, help grieving families turn their grief into love for their departed.
Written by Megan Tan
Growing up, I attended a few funerals for my relatives; though most followed similar traditions, no two were the same. My exposure to them has raised my interest in funeral procedures; how do funeral services accommodate and comfort grieving families?
My curiosity brought me to The Life Celebrant (TLC), a local funeral company that not only provides various funeral packages, but also offers special services, such as Showers of Love, a unique service which allows mourners to give their departed one final act of gratitude before the funeral.
About Showers Of Love
Showers of Love was launched by Angjolie Mei, the founder of TLC, in 2017 to invite families to pay a profound tribute to their lost loved ones. It involves the cleansing and dressing of the deceased’s body.
Taking inspiration from Gary Chapman’s theory on the five love languages, the ceremony incorporates all five languages for families to feel connected to their departed.
Showers of Love also has strong motifs of origami cranes, which are believed to carry spirits on their wings to the afterlife. The ceremony is usually led by two angels, who are the female all-rounded workers that cover different aspects of the business. Usually, the funeral director does the funeral site recce while the angels conduct the Showers of Love ceremony.
Tour And Demonstration
Upon stepping in, I was greeted by a cosy lounge in dim lighting. I met three angels: Jolene, Xiao Juan, and Kenzie. Jolene warmly introduced me to Showers of Love and explained that tired family members are brought to the lounge to rest and have refreshments. The tables also had origami paper for family members to write their words of wishes or blessings and fold into paper cranes or hearts, which can be later placed into the casket.
Xiao Juan then opened the door and brought me into the sanctuary. The tranquil environment was well-complemented by peaceful music and beautiful decorations of flowers, paper cranes, and even plush toys on rows of seats. She went through the different areas with zeal, and mentioned the particular arrangements for certain religions, such as changing religious statues and removing taboo items. There was a clear emphasis on making grievers feel at ease to alleviate their sorrow, viewing death as a celebration of life.
After the tour, the angels showed me how a Showers of Love ceremony is typically run. I returned to the lounge where families are briefed on Showers of Love, while Xiao Juan and Kenzie made preparations with a training dummy behind a curtain. Soon, I was ushered into the sanctuary, where Xiao Juan and Kenzie stood in front and gave a welcoming opening speech, describing how to clean the deceased’s body. They also provided four phrases to use during the cleansing: “Thank you”, “I am sorry”, “I love you” and “I forgive you”. The curtain was slowly unveiled to reveal the bed where the deceased would lay, as I earnestly watched the process.
Firstly, a small towel is soaked in a bowl of clean water and flowers. The angels slowly unfolded parts of the blanket to reveal the dummy’s face, hands and feet. Family members will wipe these body parts and recite the four phrases. The body is then dressed in the deceased’s clothing, where family members (or the angels) will dress the body carefully under a towel, shielded from other members. After that, moisturiser and make-up will be applied by the angels. Kenzie, who specialises in make-up, showed me the vast array of professional tools she uses to touch up the face and hair, while the colour of lipstick may be personalised at the family’s request.
Once this is done, mourners are given a moment of private time to reminisce about the deceased’s life. Meanwhile, the angels will leave to pick up the casket and drive back for encoffinment. Finally, the deceased’s body is lowered into the casket, along with clothing and other sentimental items, including the origami folded by family members. The casket is transported to the wake, and the angels continue to assist in the funeral within their own specialisations.
A Special Commemoration
With the delicate care the angels have shown, I developed a great admiration for their dignity and patience. Attending to families on an irregular schedule, frequently dealing with grief and death, and giving emotional support to heavyhearted mourners is an exhausting feat. Yet, they enjoy what they do as hospitable servers in the funeral industry.
If you would like to do something special for your loved ones when they pass, giving them a shower of love at TLC will certainly be a pleasant way to honour the life they have lived.