Arranged for Love

Ler Ah Geok and Anthony Sye are a couple who have been through an arranged marriage. They share their fulfilling life story and secrets to an everlasting marriage of true love.

Written By: Clara Chua | Photos By: Clara Chua

Modern (Mis)understanding

Those who were brought up in South Asia are familiar with the term “arranged marriage”. The modern take emphasises much more on free choice while keeping the tradition that allows people to find matches that make all parties happy.  After all, finding “the one” may not always be as easy as it sounds.

The First Meeting

Despite working across from one another 55 years ago, Ler Ah Geok and Anthony Sye, 69 and 74 years old, were two people that never had an interest for one another. 

While they often got teased by colleagues: “They weren’t anything at all, I never thought of him as my partner,” said Ah Geok. She shared her first impression of Anthony, laughing that she only liked his great work ethic and nothing more. 

As the months passed, friends were more persuasive.  Their friends eventually approached both of their parents and recommended that they were a good fit for one another. 

After the families set on a date, Anthony recalled the whole process of both families sitting down to meet one another being very simple he also added cheekily that he was too scared to look Ah Geok in the eyes. 

Loving Each Other

Falling in love was like gambling to Ah Geok, you either strike the lottery with him or not. During their first few dates, they always loved visiting the old cinemas and watching new movies. Ah Geok excitedly chimed in that she was smitten he brought her everywhere on his motorcycle.

Their courtship journey was short and simple, but they learnt everything about each other. Hearing them describe one another is simple, words like “caring, patient, hardworking and disciplined” kept being repeated throughout our conversation together.

Secrets to Marriage

So, what made their marriage last until now? They confessed that most of the time they were just doing what was expected of themselves.  Despite being brought up in a chauvinistic household, Anthony still helped Ah Geok with household chores and cooking. 

“There is no such thing as not helping your wife. I married her so I have to do everything to be with her,” said Anthony.

Observing the couple and witnessing the many small but warm interactions between the two - tissue being passed when Anthony was tearing up, how they wanted to hold hands instead of standing side by side for the photo and that they always had to share a cup of coffee in the morning.

Arranged marriage or not, it is hard to find a love so undemanding and effortless as the one they have. Even after being married for 52 years and constantly being around each other,  Anthony hopes that she never leaves his side.