Story by Anneka Stone
Photos courtesy of Hanna Stone, Michelle D’cruz & Nicole Khaw
Overcoming challenges down under
Hanna Stone was one particularly anxious individual when moving to Australia.
“I’d never lived by myself before, much less in a totally foreign environment. But I was also excited … I was just a mixture of emotions,” she says.
Hanna opted to move overseas to Adelaide, Australia, for her studies when she wasn’t accepted into the local university of her choice.
The 25-year-old admits that when she first moved, she was worried about how she would adjust to living in Adelaide by herself; that worry didn’t go away for a long time.
“Especially when school actually started… It was just anxiety all around.”
Over time, Hanna has managed to adjust to life down under, saying that it “hasn’t been a totally awful experience”. It forced her to be a better adult and gain independence.
“I have friends now, and I think I’ve also learnt to be a better adult - it’s made me more independent.” An example of this independency is the reliance on her parents for funds, which has lessened over the years. Hanna pays for things with her own money, like groceries and electricity bills.
Hanna admits that the feeling of homesickness still lingers but is not as prevalent as it used to be. Despite her multiple attempts to contact authorities to find answers, the travel restrictions that stemmed from COVID-19 have made her unable to visit her family in person.
“At the times that I’ve tried to talk to anyone at immigration here, it takes forever,” she says.
However, Hanna calls her family regularly, which helps keep homesickness at bay.
Now working part-time as a cleaner, she finds it easier to balance her work and life.
“In Singapore, I felt like if I wanted to do well, I was going to have to stop having any fun and focus entirely on my studies. Whereas here, I feel like I’m able to juggle doing schoolwork and having fun a lot better.”
Hanna still misses Singapore, but after spending many years in Adelaide, it’s what she currently calls home.
“Home is just being in a place where you’re comfortable and where it’s familiar, right? So ... by that definition, then, yes, [Adelaide] is my second home.” Hanna says.
Moving across continents for the love of work
Michelle D’cruz (centre), with friends at a feminist organising in Nairobi
Michelle D’cruz, who currently works in Kenya as a communications & campaigns manager for an NGO, also felt worried, despite not being a stranger to living overseas.
“I think moving to a new place is always scary, especially if you don’t know anyone there and if people speak a different language,” Michelle says.
The 36-year-old had initially been living in Thailand to complete her masters of arts in human rights. After a few years, she got a job with an international NGO and ended up moving to Kenya.
One thing that Michelle particularly misses is the safety of living in Singapore.
“I miss being able to go for a run at 1 am … I miss going out to eat prata at random times … I miss the convenience of hopping on a train or bus to get to where I want to go. The little things, really.”
Yet, living overseas has opened her eyes to a different perspective of life.
Through her job, she has found a community of feminists with whom she enjoys hanging out with and planning projects with. They also share experiences uncommon to Singapore, being from other parts of the world.
“Safety and stability don’t have to be tradeoffs for less political and civic space … I’ve [met] some amazing politically engaged people, as well as young people interested and involved in activism in Thailand and Kenya.”
Michelle’s time in Kenya, particularly, has also dispelled stereotypes about living in Africa.
“I think I came here with very stereotypical notions of the continent, which I think perhaps a lot of us from Asia are guilty of,” she says, recounting an incident.
“I remember I sent my friends and family from Singapore a picture of a lion I had taken on a safari in the Masai Mara and I jokingly told them it was a picture of my backyard — every single one of them believed it!”
Michelle finds that, whether it be in Kenya or Thailand, she has found second homes overseas, and likes the freedom and autonomy that has come with it, especially as a single woman.
“I’ve found a nice community of friends in Kenya and enjoy my life here … Singapore’s policies regarding housing and health [also] revolve a lot around traditional family structures … Living overseas gives me more options and is also a lot more affordable,” Michelle says.
Living her dream in South Korea
The fear of living overseas is real, and yet, it may also be a dream come true for others.
This partially rings true with Nicole Khaw, a Singaporean living in South Korea. The 22-year-old moved there in 2019 to not only go to university, but also to train as a Taekwondo Poomsae athlete.
Nicole says that she always dreamed of moving overseas. “There is a charm about the university life I could imagine having overseas, that pushed me to work towards what I wanted to experience for myself so much.”
After much trial and error, Nicole gained admission into the first and only Korean university she applied to, Yonsei University. “I had a placement in an overseas university, I could continue to be an athlete and it was a financially feasible option. So, I just took the leap.”
Nicole, however, knew that this would be no walk in the park. “I knew that no matter which country I headed to, there were going to be things I did not understand.”
Understanding the native language was what proved to be one of the biggest challenges for Nicole. Due to her poor Korean, she struggled to express herself, and also could not understand classes, or the corrections given to her at Taekwondo practice.
“On the other hand … [being] unable to communicate in a language I didn’t grow up speaking ... made me all the more desperate to get better at Korean,” Nicole says.
Nicole was determined and threw herself into Korean classes despite her limited Korean; she was fighting it head-on, and it worked. She says that people around her remind her how much she has improved, and has even helped out in translating live online seminars.
Cultural barriers can also be a problem when in a new environment. There can be differences in beliefs and taboos — but, if anything, learning about culture helped Nicole in the long run. Not only was she learning about Korean culture, but also of other cultures because of her other international friends.
“I’ve been able to meet many other students from other countries through various platforms,” Nicole says, “Once you are immersed in (other cultures), you learn to embrace it, understand it, live it and get used to it.”
While Nicole has assimilated in South Korea, she does still miss home.
“I feel lonely at times, my family isn’t here with me, and especially at the start, I had to make friends from scratch.”
There was even an incident when she was unable to go back home; she sustained an injury and had to have surgery without family around. Even then, though, she still received love and support from the people around her. Her coaches helped drive her back and forth to the hospital, and her friends would take turns spending time at the hospital with her.
“Feeling alone is normal, and sometimes you just have to fight your way through it — text or call your loved ones and wait until the next time you get to see them again in person,” Nicole says.
Nicole thinks that she has made a home in South Korea, but the definition of home, to her, is not just where one lives.
“To me, home is the work of the relationships formed with people, the memories made in places and most of all, where you make it to be.”
