The trend of “romanticising your life” surged in popularity on social media while the world remained in lockdown. Despite the aesthetic appeal, what lies beneath the surface?
Written & Illustrated by Afiah Mazlan
Instead of drawing the blinds when it rains, you should sit by the window with a warm cup of tea in your hands, gaze longingly into the distance and think to yourself, “isn’t life romantic?”
The act of turning a boring routine into something more idealistic than it actually is seems appealing. However, what are the effects that lie burrowed beneath?
The Romantic Era
When thinking of a romanticised life, we do not picture starting our day with paratha at the coffeeshop, but a croissant at the cafe. We do not imagine savouring bubur kacang or tau suan on a rainy day, but coffee one can find at Starbucks.
It is justifiable if one does not incorporate those Asian dishes into their lifestyle if they are unfamiliar with them. However, it is no surprise that the words “romantic” and “romance” are commonly associated with a European lifestyle.
This pushes one to indulge in European culture since what we deem to be romantic and more appealing is often European in nature.
I Am the Main Character
Since living your life as the main character is deemed to be romantic, we alter our experiences to reflect theirs.
We often make ourselves look the way we wish to be perceived while fantasising about how nice it would be if someone looked at us and simply understood. This creates an imaginary audience who watches over our lives. We start to judge if our lives are properly romanticised by whether the imaginary audience enjoys the show we perform.
What we don’t seem to remember is that the main character we observe are not real. The fictional archetype we idolise is a saturation of stereotypes and pop-culture references we will never be.
The main character in a show reads alone in a park and we mimic them because it looks appealing, but who’s looking?
My Life
The term “romanticising your life” promotes a self-centred way of living because it focuses on your life and not life in general. Living romantically suggests a happy life equates to doing things that are pleasurable for you.
If we romanticise making chicken soup for our loved ones, our experience becomes enjoyable for us. The pleasure of making chicken soup for somebody else has now turned into a task worth doing.
It is easier to romanticise going to a concert with friends than volunteering at an elderly home. We easily choose the activity that is more fun than morally good because our happiness is dictated by what is more romantic.
Although prioritising oneself is not wrong, it can lead to avoiding tasks and responsibilities that are mundane but important, just because it does not fit into our fantasy.
The Little Things
Despite why I think romanticising your life can be harmful, there is an obvious beauty to it. Romanticising things that are dull helps us incorporate the practice of mindfulness in our lives by observing things we often overlook.
We take our time to carefully indulge in the activity we are doing, while viewing things in a more hopeful light. However, even in the throes of arguing why something so beautiful can be so harmful, I catch myself spying from my peripheral, a girl who looks like me, typing away furiously.