Tiger parenting has been a controversial method to discipline a child. In order for Darren to become the best version of himself when he reaches adulthood, he had lost something greater at the hands of his mother - his childhood.
Written & Illustrated by Alysa Ng
“If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that,” The Red Queen said to Alice.
For 17-year-old student, Darren Tan, these words could not have been more familiar to that of his mother’s usual nagging. “Study harder, else you will end up like every other person”.
Amongst the Asian community, this style of parenting has been glorified into what we recognise today as “tiger parents”. The term itself seems daunting enough.
But do parents really mean to do their child harm?
Darren speculates that this extreme form of parenting is a way for parents to make up for lost time. He explained that in the past, our parents might not have had access to education like we do today. “She probably just wanted to turn me into who she wanted to be when she was younger”.
And although he recognises this as tough love, he could not help but wonder why his parents were so strict. “Growing up, I just got used to it… it’s becoming more of a routine now. So I’m conditioned to this level of expectations,” Darren sighed as he explained.
Bird In a Cage
Aside from school, he spends his weekends in and out of enrichment classes. His Saturdays start early with breakfast at 9am, then he’s off to two hours of art, a half hour lunch break, an hour and a half of English and finally, two hours of piano practice. Coming home is not a break for him either. For Darren, it means hours of revision with only a handful of breaks in between. “When I see my house, it doesn’t feel like home, it feels like work.”
When he’s away from home, his parents like to keep a close eye on his whereabouts. His mother does so with the help of an application called ‘Life360’. Darren shuddered as he explained how that allows his mother to see his precise, real-time location right at her fingertips.
Bite Is No Harsher Than The Bark
“虎毒不食子” Darren said, his laugh laced with sarcasm. When translated into English, this phrase means - Even a vicious tiger will not eat its cubs. The idea of having encouraging parents seems foreign to Darren as he painted his parents out to be the most vicious tigers there ever were.
When he does not meet their expectations, their roars echo fiercer than before. “But the look on their faces pains me more, I’m still their child,” Darren added as he recalled that fateful day.
He felt as though he had shamed them - a disgrace and a disappointment. But despite his strict upbringing, he came out stronger than he ever was. Through the harsh remarks and pressure, he emerged more resilient and headstrong.
“Because of you, I stand a chance to become the greatest version of myself. You have pushed me to be brave and resilient and for that, I am grateful.”