A meaningless existence: Crisis or Comfort?

To be nihilistic is to believe that life is meaningless; that there is no point in anything! Is there a way to escape all of the chaos in our lives and bring comfort instead?

Story and Illustrations by Aw Yong Mei Fong Jaime

“To live is to risk it all. Otherwise, you’re just an inert chunk of randomly assembled molecules drifting wherever the universe blows you.” – Rick & Morty Season 3, Episode 2.

Do you ever wake up feeling unmotivated and question the reason why you need to wake up and go somewhere in the first place? Why do we have to wake up at seven o’clock every day to go to school? What even is a job and why do I need one? What is the point of it all?

As someone who revelled in philosophical concepts, I have always been curious about answering life’s biggest questions, I want to find meaning behind my existence (or maybe I just want an excuse to not go to school). This was when I stumbled upon a report on nihilism online, and I was invested.

The word nihilism comes from the Latin word ‘nihil’, which means ‘nothing’. It is the philosophical idea that life is ultimately pointless, devoid of any meaning.

From this, it is easy to say that nihilism is negative and cynical, for life to be pointless does sound depressing. I admit that the first time I heard of it, I fell into existential despair, because what was I supposed to make out of anything meaningless and devoid of any happiness? Why do I need to do an assignment on Excel sheets or even create a pivot table if all of this inevitably leads to…

Nothing?!

You see, I grew up in a typical Asian household that came with an impending amount of pressure from my parents to excel in my studies. The majority of my time was torment, stumped by my desk and working myself to the bone till the wee hours of the morning.

I slowly started developing a perfectionist mindset and refused to submit work that was not guaranteed an ‘A’ grade.

However, after many moments of reflection, the concept of nihilism kept coming back and actually served as a defense mechanism for me. In a way, it helped to reframe my perspective on things. Interestingly, the concept of life being meaningless made me feel liberated.

I came to an awakening that my two main life goals of doing well in my studies and making good money were so shallow. I came to the conclusion that in the grand scheme of things, nothing actually really mattered. Everything goes away one day. So why was I putting so much pressure on myself?

This wake-up call that nothing really matters in this world ignited a huge sense of relief, comfort and reassurance. Even if I fail in whatever I am doing now, it is alright because a grade is just a letter on the page and money are just figures floating around on the screen.

To whoever is reading this, I want you to know that you have the power to choose the life you wish to live. Do not get me wrong, I am not encouraging you to flunk your studies or drop out of school. What I am saying is do your best in anything you do and be proud of that regardless of the outcome.

You have the freedom to create your own goals and run away from expectations inflicted onto you. So live life to the fullest, and seek joy and comfort in failure as well. It is not all that deep.

Well, I have reconciled that I still need to wake up at seven o’clock every morning and go to school-but what the heck, why not make the best out of it.