Everyone has their reasons to reach perfection, but are the negative consequences on your relationships, physical and mental health worth it?
Story and Illustrations by Beatrice Bautista
Living in a competitive country that requires us to be the best version of ourselves, we get flooded with extra curricular activities. It’s no surprise we grow up overachieving and losing sight of what is self-fulfilling.
As long as I can remember, being busy was typical. I filled my time with countless commitments: leadership, sports, competitions, and more. Since I was nine, I wanted everyone to like me and believed that could only happen if I appeared perfect to them. My happiness was determined by how others viewed me.
To me, ‘Perfect’ meant being unique and capable. What better way to achieve that than by overloading myself with responsibilities to seem reliable? The epitome of a perfectionist — basing my self-worth on my productivity.
My desire for perfection grew and so did the necessity to juggle my responsibilities. However, I never became my definition of perfect. I received the external validation I so desperately wanted but wasn’t happy. I loathed my incompetence and feared the opinions of others. It was an exhausting cycle of perfectionism that I had been accustomed to.
The never-ending list of commitments took me away from my family and whenever I did have time for them, the exhaustion would make me angst.
The perfectionist in me made me anxious that I wasn’t doing enough or doing things well. I coped by procrastinating. It was how I avoided creating something that wasn’t perfect. My thoughts were constantly cluttered with comparisons with others, the fear of being mediocre, and the mountain of things I had to do. I associated my procrastination with laziness, but I soon realised that I was burnt out instead.
Many people advised me to stop overworking myself. I never listened because the way people viewed me was far more important than my well-being.
Within only two months, I tested positive for COVID twice because my immune system was at an all-time low due to the lack of physical and emotional rest.
During my second quarantine, people close to me were visibly frustrated with my lack of self-care. My physical and mental health hit rock bottom so hard that I finally wanted to change my lifestyle.
It’s difficult to reject opportunities or when people ask for help, but I started setting boundaries and prioritising myself. After recovering from my second COVID experience, I said ‘yes’ less often to new commitments that were offered to me.
I intentionally put time aside to recharge by dancing and spending time with my loved ones, enforcing a healthier work-life balance. My perspective changed, and I’m slowly enjoying life without always trying to be flawless.
On paper, it looks good to see your high grades and many extra curriculars that make it seem like you’re an all rounded individual. However, there’s no point overloading yourself if it drains you.
Personal growth is necessary but we need to face that perfection is impossible. Slow down, and you might notice you have more time to appreciate the small things in life. It isn’t easy to break out of an achievement focused lifestyle, but doing too much isn’t worth the negative consequences.
We need to step out of this perfectionist lifestyle and grow to learn our limits.