In a society where death is perceived as taboo, funeral directors play a vital role in guiding families through life’s most difficult journey. We hear from Sim Wei Kang.
Story and Photos by Ivor Ong
Additional photos courtesy of Sim Wei Kang
In a solemn room, family and friends gather to mourn the passing of their loved one. The soft music plays in the background providing some form of comfort amidst the overwhelming sadness.
As the ceremony comes to an end, the family members and friends approach the casket one by one to pay their respects. Some weep openly, while others remain silent. It is a poignant moment, a time of reflection as they say their final goodbyes.
The funeral service has always been an important process in offering the last goodbye to those departed. We take a look behind-the-scenes to find out the amount of work necessary to guarantee a seamless funeral ceremony.
Wei Kang’s sister and her husband (far right) founded White Lilies Funeral, a business arm of JLFS
He may seem rather young to be running a funeral business. Meet 25-year-old Sim Wei Kang, Funeral Director of Jin Lu Funeral Service (JLFS). He took over the family business in late 2022 when his father fell sick and had difficulties walking.
Having learnt the ropes from his parents and being more involved subsequently, he works alongside his younger brother, an embalmer, to run the business.
He recalled how from the ages of four to five years, he would drop in from time to time to visit his parents while they were working.
It was common then for his parents to bring him to the funeral office while they went about with the proceedings, allowing him to explore and be familiar with the environment.
Having grown up in the business and starting from a young age, Wei Kang has developed a passion towards this line of work through his love of interacting with people.
“Death itself is a very sensitive topic, and with people distraught from the passing of their loved ones, you need to treat them with empathy. If you can’t love people, it’s a job you can’t do,” he elaborated.
The Chinese tradition of burning paper houses, a service provided by JLFS
With the dilution of traditions over time due to modernisation, people are less as accepting of rites these days. These include burning incense, joss sticks, and loud noises from the wake that could come from performing rites or from visitors.
Wei Kang stressed that it is important to respect the wishes of those who still want to uphold traditional practices, and funeral providers must be prepared to cater to those needs.
“If the client wants to carry out the funeral in a traditional Hokkien style, we have specialists to help cater to that,” said Wei Kang.
Working in a funeral service, Wei Kang faces judgment from others, especially the older generation.
“When we are visiting our relatives in the hospital, there are comments like how we shouldn’t be here and that our money is ‘dirty’ as it’s made from doing funerals,” explained Wei Kang.
He reassures himself not to take these comments to heart.
His girlfriend has been his pillar of support despite the nature of his job. Odd working hours are common in this line and it affects his time spent with the people around him.
He said, “It takes love and acceptance for my girlfriend to understand my situation.”
After years of preparing countless wakes and funerals, he has become desensitised to the process. The daily rituals and routine have become second nature, however, this changed when he had to prepare for his own aunt’s funeral.
It offered him an opportunity to step further into the shoes of his clients. It allowed him to understand what they are facing, and how he could support them better during such a difficult time.
“No one wants to plan for death if it strikes closer to home, it feels different,” he said.
A funeral by JLFS taking place under a void deck
Ultimately, his goals extend beyond the horizons of being remembered not just as a reliable funeral provider but also for upholding high standards of professionalism and quality, leaving a positive impact on the community he serves.
“When our clients and their loved ones look backon their experience with us, I hope they will remember it as a time when they felt supported, comforted, and cared for during one of life’s most difficult moments,” explained Wei Kang.