The ‘Not So Easy’ Necessity

Self-discovery is something many find difficult. I’ve struggled and so have most of us. But even with its complexity, it will always hold high level of importance to me, making it the ‘not so easy’ necessity in my life.

Story and illustrations by: Mannatt Bambha

Self-discovery, a word so simple with a meaning so broad.

To me, self-discovery is an ongoing process throughout one’s life. While the idea of reaching a point of complete self-discovery may seem elusive, it remains a vital aspect of one’s personal growth. 

Emotional, physical, mental, spiritual—the list goes on.

Personally, my journey to self-discovery has been through its fair share of ups and downs. 

As a child, I was always timid and afraid. With the fear of judgement, voicing out my opinions was something that was completely out of the picture. I would dress and behave in ways that aligned with society's expectations rather than my own happiness. 

However, over the years, I was lucky enough to have come across people who helped me in certain parts of my self-discovery. People who embraced those parts of me and encouraged me to explore my happiness. 

To start with something more general, I grew up with the mindset of solely focusing on analytical subjects, as that would ‘get me further in life’. 

In all honesty, I never really enjoyed studying science or maths, but I felt stuck with it. 

Up until Secondary Four, I had my mind completely set on going to Junior College, despite knowing that it’s not what I really wanted. Thankfully, after Open House hopping, I decided to take a risk and explore the more artistic side of me.

It felt scary at first, having to make my tertiary education decisions all on my own. There was always that fear that I would regret my choice, which would ruin my future. 

But, if I was starting to discover my passions, why look back? I took it upon myself to research and explore what interested me. 

That’s how I found Media. Without the willingness to take that step, I would be stuck in an endless cycle of learning and stressing over things that bring me no joy. 

Instead, I get to stress over something I’m genuinely passionate about, which is much more rewarding. 

Another part of my journey would be my personal self-discovery. The things we learn about ourselves span from a variety of things – our style, actions, identity, and much more. However, dealing with societal expectations and judgments adds so much more complexity to one’s personal self-discovery.

As a child, I felt this societal pressure to ‘dress like a girl’. 

I would be dressed in gowns and skirts so frequently that my discontent was apparent. As I grew up, I started to explore the side of me where I discovered what I was comfortable with. My style and self-expression have changed ever since. While a part of me wishes I could tell my younger self to prioritise herself, the other part is glad I took my time to discover myself. 

Of course, people disapproved, but the lot who supported me, I really am grateful for. 

While these only cover a small percentage of the self-discovery I will undergo throughout my life, it is still something so important as I embark on my journey to adulthood. 

Taking time to learn and understand the different facets of my character, interests, and personality is what keeps me from drifting into a life I might find meaningless. 

As we move on and grow up in life, there are certain things we learn about ourselves that makes us who we are. Individuality is what makes a person unique, and this individuality comes to us through the process of self-discovery. No one is born knowing everything about themselves, but it is up to us to embark on that journey.

The process can be long and tiring but is almost always worth it.